A massacre.

I take permanent make-up very seriously.

I mean, even if they say it only lasts a limited time, it's pretty important that during that "limited time" you won't hate yourself every time you look in the mirror.

I would HATE it if I were ever to have permanent make-up done on my face and to have to be disappointed afterwards. Just the idea makes me shudder. I was a royal pain in the ass with my tattoo artist because I wanted it to be perfect (it's pretty close but not quite) and my tattoo isn't even visible to anyone unless I choose to show it. So imagine how much of a pain I could be when my face is involved.

Now I try to do things the best way I can. I'm a perfectionist, not perfect. I make mistakes (hoo boy have I made some..) and I strive to learn from them to never EVER have to live through the same thing AGAIN. I also want to make people happy and feel better about themselves.

Now when I see something horrible, I feel this stab in my gut even if it's not my fault.

I want to rip off the tattoo and replace it with something better.

Alas, I cannot. I could go to jail for that.

So all I can do is try to make it better. I normally do a good job of it, but when it's hopeless, I am gutted.

You see, I respect my boss, Môd, because she's been doing it for 15 years and handles the dermograph like she was born with it, but she too is not perfect.

I do creations, creation retouches (1 month after the initial creation) and yearly retouches, be it eyebrows, lips or eyes.

Since my boss wishes for me to "continue her legacy" (she's just tired of working I reckon), I get to retouch all her clients - except for the ones that ask for her specifically.

(I did have this one client, an elderly lady, who had come from Switzerland to have her eyebrows done by Môd because all her lady friends had had theirs done by her, so she had to have her, because her friends told her to only let Môd do it because she is the best, no one else. And she ended up with me.

"So you are Môd?" -Nope. I'm Laura.

Madame was not content.

In the end she accepted to let me do it and even gave me a happy tip of 10€ to show her content.

HA.)

Sometimes I'm really surprised at the things I see. Very asymmetric eyebrows, bizarre lip lines..

And when I check to see who had done it and when, I'm very disappointed when it was done by Maud multiple times and the last time was a year ago.

I mean she must know it's not pretty. Even the client knows it.

So why ?

We use what is called the stroke technique when tattooing eyebrows. It's done line by line to imitate real hair. My technique differs from Maud's, she does very strict lines (left) when I prefer a "hairier" effect (right). Like so.

Lady Left has real eyebrow hair whereas Lady Right does not. Impressive, huh?

So the reason I had to write about this is due to the fact that I had a client today who had done her eyebrows at our place 5 years ago (not by Môd, by a girl who no longer works with us*), resulting to a complete massacre of her face.

*lucky for her, I probably would've strangled her.

She didn't have any eyebrows to begin with which of course makes it easier to realize any harmonious shape imaginable.

She had too STRAIGHT fat blocks for eyebrows. They weren't even symmetrical. There was NOTHING aesthetic about them. I just stared at them until I could stop myself from asking if madame had ever thought of using laser treatment to get rid of them and to start anew.

She told me that when she had asked for another shape, the beautician had told her that it was IMPOSSIBLE to tattoo another shape ! BEFORE she had started the tattooing part !

(We draw the shape first with a make-up pen, then choose the color - all of this WITH the client. We don't do ANYTHING until she is sure of what she wants and happy about the design.)

I was REALLY angry.

I felt like crying when I had to retattoo the same fucking horrible stain on her brows.

I felt I should've been apologizing, begging for forgiveness, screaming to make it stop and go away.

Just before I had created something beautiful. Now I was forced to imitate ugliness.

I don't get easily shaken up, but this made me lose my nerve.

How can somebody do something so ugly when you're supposed to be capable of doing beautiful things ?! How can you live with it?! Why continue when you know it's not your expertise ??

Sorry for ranting, but I had to get it off my chest.

Magnet for freaks.

Ok.

So I'm starting to wonder - based on a multitude of examples I could give you - if I'm in fact a Magnet / Tractor Beam / Lighthouse or what ever attraction for Freaks.

Do I have a stench that attracts them ? Something that their Scanner picks up a mile away ?

I seem to have this innate gift of finding (or being found by) Freaks.

The latest example has to do with the sister of a colleague who to me resembles a lot like Tuulevi, my ex-roomie (the same bipolar nutcase* I (almost) ran into the other day).

*now I have nothing against nutcases or people with mental disorders, hey you gotta be a little crazy to survive in this insane world ya-hear-what-I'm-saying?, but Tuulevi really is the only one to blame in her case (and her alcoholic good-for-nothing-demeaning-mother). I mean she chose not to take her medication, she obsessed about becoming Britney Spears (drinking, jogging, partying, eating, boozing, vomiting, lying about herself blablabla). She got too excited, too deep in trouble, unmedicated, unstable, that it finally snapped in her head (for the Xth time in her life) and she found herself in a psychiatric hospital first in Paris, then in Finland.

The girl should be on a leash. Get her away from me.

So the sister, she's called Peggy. She fancies herself thin and beautiful and should be nicknamed with reason Piggy. Now Piggy's older sister "Mimi" is a nice person. She values family and friends, honesty and everything that's supposed to be good.

Now Piggy doesn't like it when things are going well for Mimi. She has to find a way to destroy her sister's happiness by insulting her, telling her how worthless she is, meddling in her affairs etc. And everytime it works, Mimi gets miserable, Piggy is content and ACCEPTS Mimi's apology. I've told Mimi with everyone else at my workplace that she should ignore Piggy completely and shut her out of her life completely.

Mimi says she understands but finds it very hard because of blood ties.

Now Monday when I came to work, I found a pair of fairly pretty H&M hairpins à 2,95€ in my locker. I found it touching that someone had thought about me, but since I was curious, I posted a comment on my FB asking who that mysterious person was that gifted me with hairpins.

Mimi responded "In your opinion???" so I knew it was her :)

I then noticed that she had posted a comment saying that she doesn't understand because yesterday everything was ok and today someone had removed her from her FB friends list, called her names etc.

I understood that it was about her sister and told Mimi to let that person be, that maybe it was for the best, that it wasn't easy to realize hard decisions once they were made etc. I never bad mouthed anyone, just tried to comfort a friend. Mimi seemed to be thankful and that was that.

And today I go to work, I see Mimi, shaken up, she tells me that her sister had called her the same morning, insulted her in horrendous ways and all because of HAIRPINS.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, MY hairpins.

You see, Piggy once bought hairpins for herself. But then decided she didn't like them so she gave them to her sister, waiting to be praised for her kindness. Mimi found them cute but knew that she wasn't going to use them, thought of me (hair accessory collector) and put them in my locker for me to find.

Piggy had found out about the gifting and was enraged. She thought it insulting to give away 3€ hairpins SHE had given. She then threatened Mimi that she would hunt that person (me) down and DO THINGS to her.

Ooh mama I'm scared now.

I find her childish and immature and being the zen person I am, I shrugged it off.

Then I logged into FB.

I had received a msg from Mimi, saying that I had a problem with her, that the hairpins were for her sister, not for some weirdo colleague and that if I really had a bone to pick with her, here was her number, call her, signed PiGGY.

I stared at the screen in utter disbelief. She would go so far as to hack into her sisters account and send me some kind of a threatening message. My god that child needs help.

I showed it to Mimi and helped her change her password.

She was disgusted. To make things worse, the little pork had deleted my conversation with Mimi amongst other things. She reaaaaally needs help.

It makes me sick.

Why me?

Why am I always targeted when it comes to nut jobs ?!

___________________

On a lighter notice, my friend arrived for Finland ! Like Santa he had a bag full of (unauthorized) finnish goodies for me ! Chocoooo, salmiakkiiii... mmm :)

Olivier left to Bretagne today (well tonight they party in Paris and tomorrow they ride [drive] there). I'll see him Friday. So it's just me and my friend. <3>

It's Christmas time !

Yea yea !

Christmas came and went. :) It was quite painless really and I feel much more relaxed than I did last year.

Friday I stayed in bed when Olivier left to work. I did get up a few hours later to prepare my christmas dinner. I had already prepared my salty cake (carotte+mushroom), taken the kangaroo out of the freezer and packed it with some veggies. So now for the dessert.

It was pretty easy to prepare, but the layer + filling + layer + filling was a bit more tricky. Took me awhile because I almost managed to destroy all the layers with my clumsiness.

I managed to built the cake and hop, wrapped it up for the road.

When Olivier came home, we still had to wrap the presents. I let him do the honors since I was still struggling with my grub..

We finally left at 3p.m. Now the trip normally takes 1h½ but with heavy snow, bad weather and icy roads (some main roads were closed : too many trucs laying on their sides were blocking 'em) we arrived at 7pm. 4 frigging hours.

Luckily I had taken my brand spanking new Cinema music compilation with me, so we spent the trip guessing to which film which theme song belonged :D

I can't believe I couldn't guess the one from Robocop...

It was nice seeing Olivier's family. They didn't say a WORD about what I was eating when I placed my plate on the table, it in fact gave me the greatest satisfaction: the others ate a salmon in a crust with mashed veggies (the men complained openly) while I savoured my meat. The men didn't stop giving my plate jealous looks :D Muahahahahaaa.

We got a ministereo set that must've cost more than our second hand furniture combined, a bath salt set and a fancy set of 6 huge wine glasses + pitcher. I have no idea when we're supposed to use those (I don't drink wine since I don't like it and they really are HUGE to be practical).

I also got the Nightmare Before Christmas figurine I was lusting for for years and a Wii game

called "So blonde". I've played to PC-version and it was funny :)

We left the following day and were home around 6p.m. It was good to be back...

I bought some Cristal d'arques wine glasses (->) on the internet with the approval of Olivier and reserved tickets to a Sunday showing of Tangled. It was cute.

For our Sunday stroll we took the train + metro till Nation, walked to the cinema at St

Germain and then walked from there to St Lazare and took the train home. I made rosolli and finished my kangaroo steaks in the form of pyttipannu. mmm.

My Finnish friend is coming tomorrow! I can't wait ! I've tried to prepare everything so that his stay will go comfortably and smoothly but I think my buying him plenty of stuff to eat (I have no idea what he likes to eat so I've bought several things) only a) annoys him b) amuses him c) makes him uncomfortable.

Oh well :D I'm a bit of a busybody... hehehe

Rainy day

Whoa, I managed to resist a few days before writing a new post ..

Nothing's happened, so nothing really to report.

Today was a nice day at work. Time flew by as I oriental waxed and tattooed my way through a 9½ hour day. I was pleased with the eyebrows of a client of mine that I had managed to render more appealing to her taste. A tip is always appreciated when you know you've done something worth getting it.

Talking about tips, I emptied my tip jar* and counted a sum worth the two figurines I recently bought. It made me less guilty for buying them :D

*I keep a small powdered mauve colored safe shaped Barbapapa money bank in my locker at work where I drop all my tips at the end of the day. I only empty it when we're in desperate need of change at the caisse. It's not unusual for my superior to often ask me for change)

So I bought another Nightmare Before Christmas figurine on eBay. If this continues the way it's headed, tips or no tips, I'll soon end up penniless. There're still a few that keep on tempting me...... gaaaah !

Bizarrely enough, my brother offered to pay half of Oogie. I guess he liked the presents I got him (Jedi bath robe + Ducktrooper = bath duckie dressed up like a Stormtrooper) :)

I just wish it won't break because of the shipping.. y_y

The latest figurine I bought is another Jack. A different one. I lovely one. :)

I hope I can trust the vendeur, he had received some pretty negative feedback.. but 95% was positive. That's really all I can do. Trust. :/

I talked with Anja on Skype. Aah Skype is good.. more of my friends' should have Skype. It was really nice to hear from her after a small while. I had received her Christmas card not long ago, I hung it on the fridge.

Meh... I wish I could see her as often as I did when we were still working at Disney.. y_y

She seems motivated about school and work, chapeau to her !

Motivation is not the word I'd use to describe that something that forced me through 3 years of painfully boring studies - I'd rather use the word Sisu.

I still have tomorrow before my 3-day vacation ! Olivier's asked me to make him perunalaatikko on Saturday once we've come home for his parents' place..I think I'll make some rosolli too. But other than that, we're not going to be cooking anything special..I can't eat all that one should on Christmas, Olivier sure as hell won't start cooking anything, so it's just spending quality time with him. :)

Hope I won't get too bored.. that tends to happen when there's nothing to do and you can only do nothing in the presence of your darling. Yeah, I'm a real romantic.

Oh yes, I forgot.

Since I was so shaken up about Tuulevi, I forgot to say that I called Mom today.

She told me that Timo had been operated on last Friday and that everything was ok. The operation was a success and now he just has to rest to get well. :)

I'm so relieved. Really. It's hard to describe.

I'm just really, really glad.

Kiitos.

W.T.F.

Today, Basic Sunday.

Olivier was supposed to play rugby but since the weather's been bad (lots of snow), the match was cancelled. I had seen on www.pariisini.com that a Finnish Christmas market was being organised near Nation from 11 a.m. -7 p.m. We left our house at 1 p.m. and arrived there at 6 p.m. 5 hours after. "How is that possible?! Even if you had walked the whole way, it would've taken you 3 hours!!" Let me explain.

Shops.

We took the train and arrived at Paris around 1:30 p.m. We then walked from the railway station to Nation. But we did a detour. We went to check Uniqlo at Opéra. Before that we stopped at Nespresso (Olivier's French, you must understand). And while on our way to Uniqlo, I nearly had a heart attack.

I'm talking to Olivier, we're walking hand in hand in a crowded street. I look to my left and what do I see ? I SEE FUCKING TUULEVI, MY EX-ROOMMATE FROM MONTPARNASSE WHO MADE MY LIFE HELL AND WHO ENDED UP IN THE PSYCH WARD !!!!! WTFFFFFF!!!?!?!?!?! I nearly SCREAM. She's uglier than ever, fat and pimple faced in a too-thight-a jacket, walking down the street, talking in Finnish into her mobile.

I grab Olivier's arm in desperation as all the bad moments flash before my eyes and all the what COULD HAVE happen or STILL can happen hit me like a lightning bolt.

WTF IS SHE DOING IN FRANCE ?!

She's supposed to be in Aurora Hospital in Finland. Or at least chaperoned by someone. GGGUUAAAAAAHHHH !!!

This is going to haunt me. She knows where I work. She doesn't know (hopefully) where I live.

Olivier didn't see her, only from behind when I pointed her out.

I mean, what are the odds??

Brrrrr..

Sooo anyways. Back to shopping.

After Uniqlo (found nothing) we went to Disney Store on the Champs-Elysées. I bought 3 pairs of Nightmare before Christmas socks. ^^ (15€, bastards!)

I then started our looooong walk to Nation.

On the way we stopped in quite few shops. I found a New Look shop near Bastille and I fell in love in quite a few items. Ehehe..

When I checked my watch, it was 6p.m. Oh fuck. The market ends at 7p.m. We arrived there 15 mins later and they were already wrapping it up. Perkele.

All that walking for nil.

I felt a bit stupid but Olivier just laughed. Luckily he doesn't take things too seriously. :)

He even made an effort, remembering our latest .. discussion. I tried on a woollen dress which I didn't quite fancy at the end. He complimented me on how it looked on me after I had put it away. AND after at home he drew us a bath and lit up candles to make it more romantic. :)

He's a cutiepie. <3

I bet I'll have nigtmares tonight.....

This is going to cost me.

I have a weakness.

"Oh you mean apart for chocolate, salmiakki, liquorice, all kinds of nuts and food in general, you have another weakness?"

I'm a fan of Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas.

And yes, I've actually seen it. Many times. I know the lyrics to the songs. I admire the artwork, the twisted imagination and the richness of the originality of it all.

Has Olivier seen it ? Hell no, he'd think me a freak for liking it!

(Why is it that at the exact same time I'm writing this I hear

myself asking him if he were interested in watching it me tonight. And I can hear him answering yes.)

So my liiiittle tiiiiny weeeny weakness : I collect stuff from the movie.

Not any kind of stuff, frigging expensive stuff. Ok, it's not THAT expensive. It just hurts to pay that much for a piece of plastic or worse - porcelain.

I have a horrid weakness for NBC WDCC figurines that of course, can no longer be found in any shop. I have to look for them on eBay. Oooh all those looong loong hours I've spent searching the internet for them... and once I found what I was looking for, searching the internet for a cheaper offer. And once I found that, bidding for it, setting an alarm on my phone to get up in the middle of the night in the hope of winning the final bid.

Aah.

The joy of winning a bid when there are others drooling after the same item. The rush of adrenaline it gives. The pleasure of finally getting to touch the purchased item. And th

en letting it stay in it's foam filled box to be hidden somewhere because you are too afraid to display it with the risk of breaking it.

What a pain.

So I already have Jack, Sally, Zero, Vampire Teddy and Killer Duck.

I just purchased Oogie Boogie ! ->

So these are all limited edition porcelain figurines. Quite nicely sculpted and detailed - not like all that plastic crap they sell for $1. I only like beautiful stuff. If you think finding me a gift is easy, just take something related to NBC, well quite frankly you are gravely mistaken. Direction : poubelle. I hate useless stuff that's not pretty nor of any interest to me.

I'm the kind that can look you straight in the eye and say that I don't like what you just gave me. Hence the empty space under the Christmas tree and the envelopes on my birthday.

Yup, I'm charming.

So, Oogie Boogie. I'm so glad. I had to get up at 3.30am to bid on it but it was worth it. Can't find those babies anywhere anymore. Muahaahahahaaaa!!

Friday = groceries

Aaah, Friday.

TGIF.

I like Fridays. Why ? Because it's my day off. :)

And because I get to do the thing I love most : go grocery shopping !

I loooove super markets. I can spend hours in them, just browsing, touching and deciding. I enjoy comparing prices to always have the cheapest and/or healthiest product. Since I've started the diet, I need to be careful of the sugar and fat intake.

So yes, I'm one of those people that can spend 30 mins infront of the dairy products-section, picking up a product, checking out its the nutrition values, comparing it to another one while at the same time checking the price, putting it down, picking something else up, putting that down, picking up the first product again, checking the n.v., putting everything down, visibly pouting until I pick up the first product and place it in my caddy.

I can assure you that Olivier hates going to super markets and even more when I come along :D

Since next week is Christmas and we are going to spend it at his parents' place, with no time to grocery shop before hand, I had to buy lots of everything. I also decided to buy something more or less fancy meat to prepare for myself for D-day. I can't take another comment about what I am eating and if it is any good. So instead of preparing chicken, that would certainly be seen as something too plain for Christmas, I'm gonna eat some kangaroo! :D

Maybe I should shape the meat into kangaroos and see if it would make it more festive.

If it'd make the children cry, it'd be a plus.

About his parents.. I like them, they make me feel at ease. I'm not at all shy around them and I'm maybe a bit too direct when I speak to them..

Olivier's dad's a director of a sugar factory, so he brings in the big bucks. Mom is a house-wife that stopped her secretary studies when she got pregnant. She hasn't worked since.

She gave birth to 3 boys, all tall, lean and nicely build, the youngest (being the hottest of the 3) Olivier.

She is someone who's spent her adult life at home, cleaning, preparing food, taking care of the children, doing laundry, the groceries etc. Respect for that, not something I could do.

She's not mean, she's what Olivier calls "incroyablement maladroit". She speaks without thinking and doesn't understand that the car infront of her that clearly has "Citroën Picasso" written on it, is in fact a Citroën Picasso. She needs to confirm that with her husband who can only sigh and ask what else could it be? "Well I don't know".

Oh and last year she asked me to prepare traditional finnish Christmas dishes aaand a ton of homemade, DECORATED gingerbread for the Christmas feast. I of course told her before hand what I would make, to see if she was ok with the idea. She was.

As a wanna-be-lovely-daughter-in-law I prepared all that, spent hours making and decorating all the gingerbread shapes and put my heart and soul into creating peruna-, porkkana- and lanttulaatikko.

The result : "We're not big fans of carrot in the family. It's really weird how you prepare it. It has a weird taste. I don't think I'll need a second serving."

Aaand : "Oh I don't really like gingerbread and yours don't taste the same as the ginger-BREAD I'm used to. I really just wanted to decorate the tree with them."

..............................

Smile. Just smile. Don't look at the knife. Eyes off the knife. Now breathe. Don't forget to smile! And say thanks.

At least Olivier's brother's Russian girlfriend (now wife) was nice and complimented my dishes. I like Gala. I'm glad she's part of the family and I'd really like to get to know her better. She's friendly to boot.

When I first met Olivier's parents, they didn't quite know what to say to me, so they asked me a bunch of questions, but really, the questions that they asked... :

"Do you have cheese in Finland ?"

"What kind of furniture do you have in Finland?"

"English is your mother-tongue?"

"Why come to France for work? Don't you have work in Finland?"

"Don't you have beautician schools in Finland?"

"What kind of food do you have in Finland?"

"Do you build your houses underground? (like in Canada?!)"

etc..

The latest greatest question/comment his mom threw at me was (knowing that she knows I spent 3 years studying in French in FRANCE getting my beautician diplomas) "So that beauty salon you work at, there're only Finnish girls working with you, am I right?" I could only stare before I understood that she was asking a serious question. "Well, no, given that we are in France and my workplace is in Paris.." "Oh, I really thought you worked with Finns" "...." Cue Olivier snickering in the back-round.

Sometimes I don't know if I should laugh or cry...

Another good reason for the huge grocery shopping is that a Finnish friend of mine will be arriving on the 27th to spend New Year in this lovely country (we'll be spending it in Bretagne with friends of Olivier). And since I don't know what he eats for breakfast, since I want him to feel at home and frankly just because I care for him, I want to try my best.

And I also feel guilty because I asked him to bring me stuff from Finland..... bad me, BAD.

I hate.

I should've known. I knew that I'd jinx it by writing about it!

No more lash extension. They called yesterday so say that they were short in staff so they were forced to cancel. Fuckers.

I got mad with Olivier a few days ago.

You see, I'm someone who shows my appreciation for others by doing something. I enjoy giving, offering and helping. I cook dinner for Olivier for when he comes home from work.

And that's where we are different.

Olivier's first serious relationship is with me. I'm the first girl he introduced to his parents or even spoke ofto others. Many a time we've had serious discussions (ok, I've bitched about something) because of his lack of attention. The poor guy, I'm not easy to handle. Sure, I'm sweet, but I can also rip your head off if I'm not happy. I can get really moody about NOTHING. The slightest thing can tick me off.

And when that happens, he's at loss.

So, what frustrated me the other day : he hadn't even started to prepare dinner when I came home. He was playing with the Wii. And it's not that he doesn't know when I come home or what to prepare, I called him to say that I had left work and he suggested fish. I said I wasn't going to eat much because I wasn't that hungry, but that I wanted mushrooms.

It's frustrating.

I mean, I don't do things for people to get something in return, but when it's always you and seldom the other(s), you start asking yourself if what you do is worth nothing.

So I didn't eat. I went to bed really early, quite vexed.

The next day it still kept bugging me. I tried not to think about it and let it slide.

In the evening I was - again - browsing the "private-sales" internet pages and I came across some cheap stuff for others, Olivier and myself.

Olivier's been whining about the fact that I keep buying him stuff for presents. He already knows that for Christmas he's getting a 1 year subscription to his favorite rugby magazine, a nice wool sweater and a Calvin Klein hoodie.

I know that he has on gift for me for Christmas, a Nightmare Before Christmas figurine I've been drooling after for a few years, and that he's starting to panic about my birthday, 13 days after Christmas.

So when he came home I showed him a sweater I had found and asked if he was interested in getting it. I wasn't going to get him a fourth present and that he was glad about.

I showed him the other stuff I had found and in particular a nice Morgan t-shirt. He said it looked nice and that I should take it. I said that I wasn't sure because I'd been spending a lot of cash on things for me lately and I didn't want to overdo it.

I was kinda hoping that he would get the hint.

He didn't.

So I said that if he wanted to, he could buy it for me.

A small pause: "euh.. ok.. sure, why not". Geez, don't get too excited.

I hate asking others for something, be it help, a service, money, things, gifts, I HATE it. I don't like receiving gifts I didn't ask for either so I've briefed my family and no one gets me anything on special days. Unless they know I want something.

I hate having useless things I don't like or use in my possession. Gah.

So.

He paid for the stuff and we went to bed.

I couldn't sleep.

The next morning I told him that I would reimburse everything except his sweater.

"Oh, ok, sure".

Thanks for insisting.

SOOO the next day it was too much for me to handle so I told him during the day that we really needed to talk because it was killing me.

So we talked. I explained in my charming sarcastic-cutting-angry way and at the end everything was ok. I hate having bad blood between us, that's why I prefer talking honestly and maybe too openly with him so that nothing is left in the shadows and all questions are answered.

He also explained to me that if he doesn't do something - in general, not just in the relationship -

it's often because of the fear of doing it wrong. Fear of the uncertainty.

I responded that that's why if in doubt, ASK ME.

He promised to work on it. :)

But he still didn't get me the shirt.

Paris + snow = CHAOS

I hate being late for work.
Since we've seen a few snowflakes, everything has turned chaotic. The warning signs keep flashing to dress up properly, to keep an eye on children and to be careful of the cold outside (-6°C at the coldest) because hypothermia KILLS! The rate of accidents go up by 750% and public transportation slows down, changes its timetables or stops completely.
The latter is what happens the most.
For 2 weeks now I've come late to work. Today I came in 35 mins late. I didn't have any clients but it gnaws at me. I hate it.
Hopefully today and tomorrow I won't have anymore problems.

And Friday I'm supposed to serve as a model for lash extensions (yay!) so I better not be late if I want to have butterfly lashes ;)

Sunday

I like Sundays.

At least I think I do.

Sundays are days that really let me relax and do NOTHING.

Given that Olivier has a rugby match and is gone the whole day. Otherwise it's the both of us, doing nothing and stressing about it. I mean, when I have a chance to have a whole day with him, I always try to find something for us to do.

Not easy since it's a Sunday and everything's closed.

I enjoy walking and getting fresh air. Not easy in a big city. And I'm not keen on walking if it doesn't involve nature or a good reason. I dream of trekking the Inca Trail, getting lost in some rain forest or going for a tour around Mont Blanc. You can't call me sportive but I have a good stamina. When there's a will, there's a way ! :)

So today, Olivier asked if I felt like running later on in the evening. I don't like running. I did it for awhile to escape my psychopath-of-a-room mate, but I find it boring. And I think I couldn't really keep up with a rugbyman...even if he did slow down for me.

I quickly came up with another proposal. Since I'm on this diet, I can't eat everything. I can't eat potatoes or pasta or chinese noodles. I CAN on the other hand eat a special japanese noodle called Shirataki or Konnuyaku. It's made with agar-agar so it's totally fat, cholesterol, sugar, and glucose free. Sounds too good to be true?

Try finding some.

I had happened to find out a japanese market that sells it and that is open on Sundays. My great idea was to suggest that we walk from our place to the shop and walk back home again. Great !

Just one thing :

9,8 kms, 1h50 mins - one way.

NOTHING to it!

Result :

My legs hurt like hell, I think I managed to wear down the joint that connects my right femur to my hip (it burns with stabbing pain), Olivier has weird pains in his left arm and we paid too much for too little meat at a japanese restaurant. We did however have a laugh, a good time and we learned more about one another. Oh and we found the market and I bought 6 packets of shirataki.

The trip was worthwhile.

Kinda like the last trip we did on a Sunday where we went "hiking" around the Castle of Versailles. There was nothing to see, it was all muddy, we got lost in a forest and walked in total 3h without even seeing the damn castle.

Good times.

I also like our silly over-stretched walks with Olivier since it's a chance to communicate more than usual (helps make time run faster when you're doing something relatively boring). We're not big talkers, but I can talk to him about everything. Nothing is tabou in our conversations and sometimes the poor guy learns more than he would want to. :)

Oh and mom called.

Told that they have too much snow, that everything was ok but that there were still no news about the date for Timo's operation. Frustrating.

Sleep deprived

I spent too much time working on my blog yesterday.

I happen to be a perfectionist in everything I do for others (me I don't care) and I happen to like pretty and aesthetic things so I can spend too much time on little details. Yesterday I went to bed at 2 am because I wanted to polish the blog until I was almost satisfied with it. Yes, you got it, the appearance of my blog does not suit my taste. I just have to live with it.

So, anyways.

I went to bed at 2 am and got up at 8:45 am for work. I can tell you that it was NOT easy. Especially when it's cold outside and in your bed there's a hot body (talking temperature here people) that will just continue sleeping until he received your call at your lunch break. So not fair.

My first client had forgotten her appointment, I woke her up when I called her and Madame was not pleased. Sheesh. Bourgeoises.

I enjoy my work, especially the permanent make-up tattooing. To create something pretty that renders a face more beautiful, sophisticated or just replaces missing eyebrows is the most gratifying job I've ever done. Yeah, it's not like I'm saving lives or making the world a better place, but if it brings happiness to someone, hell, I'm proud to do it.

I like the girls I work with. It wasn't always like that, but since the worst cases left the staff, it's a looooot easier now. I guess they had some trouble with me at first since I was really shy, kept to myself, hardly spoke and when I did it was with an accent. Nowadays I'm being told that they preferred it when I was quiet :D

It really is a good team.

There's one girl who's a total pain in the ass and a good-for-nothing to boot. She lies, she tries to turn the girls on each other and apparently she's stolen too. She'll be sacked soon, she no longer has the right to work at the beauty salon since last Thursday.

You see, I don't like people who take money for granted. She wants everything handed to her on a silver platter with thanks for the honor to serve her. She has a rich BF that lets her use his bank account to her liking and boy does she take advantage of it.

She doesn't like walking or public transportation so she takes to CAB to work. She makes me sick. I really don't understand selfish people like that..

Hopefully one day she'll learn her lesson.

___________________

I need to talk about my step-dad, my mom's companion Timo.

I love Timo. I know my real dad doesn't like him and hates his guts. Dunno why, since he's married with child since 2001, so it's not like he has it worse than mom that chose not to remarry.

I am forced to be in the middle and choose a side and have been hurt more than once because of it.

I'll get to the point now.

Timo has a condition that requires surgery.

He was supposed to be operated on a month ago but the surgeon refused. He wanted extra shots, tests and opinions before accepting to operate.

He then annouced that the surgery was going to be more complex, dangerous and demanding then thought before.

Great news !

For fuck's sake, it can't get worse now, can it ?

Mom tries to stay confident but I'm scared deep inside. I want it to vanish, for him to get well and stay that way.

Why can't these things happen to bad people ?

First post

Ok, here goes nothing.

It's been for a while now that I've had this need to create a blog. I don't know why, it's just to let out steam I suppose, for random ramble, to let people I care about to know a little about my current situation, where I am in my life, my feelings, my thoughts etc. I guess I fear I'm losing touch with my friends around the world and that worries me. Losing friends is like losing pieces of myself.

English is not my mother-tongue, I speak French everyday since summer 2006 and my Finnish is degrading by the minute. I chose to use English for my blog since it is the easiest choice - for everyone.

So forgive my errors, typos and bizarre expressions.

So my story short :

I'm 100% Finnish, born 6th of January 1985 in Helsinki to be the 5th and youngest member of my family, studied in the French-Finnish School of Helsinki from 1990 to 2004. For 10 years I was picked on by various members of my class which resulted to inferiority complexes, depression and self-hate.

(Don't worry, everything's fine now)

I started going to clubs at the legal age of 18, and with the help of healthy doses of alcohol started to shed my timid skin. Good times :)

I had my first REAL crush at 18, broke and lost my heart and took 3 years to get over it, with the help of my first boyfriend with whom I stayed for more than a year. Love never bloomed, my heart stayed hidden.

In 2004 after finishing my studies, I took a year's class in art (yes, I like to draw) at a private school in Karjaa. There I met Jenni who became my best friend, whom I still adore even if we never speak anymore. She lives in England with her boyfriend. I long to see her, to hug her, to talk to her. I ignore if she still remembers me. I love her and hope that we can restart keeping in touch. I'm not good with letters.. I'm at fault.

In 2006, I took a risk (since I found myself too boring) and came to France to work at Disneyland Paris for the summer. At the end of the contract I returned to Finland and a started to show signs of depression (the fact that my ex-boyfriend managed to dump truckloads of shit on me didn't help), so I finally decided to return to Disney and stay for good.

I returned to my old job, working at the Kodak shop in the first park. I was attacked by the girls in my shop because of jealousy. I had created a deep friendship with my teamleader (much older than me) that for him was much more. It was a rocky relationship, but thanks to him I am now where I sit.

I stayed in total 2 years working at Disney.

The 2 worst years of my life if you ask me.

I met wonderful people like Anja, Marja, Matleena and Hanna that I still have to chance to stay in contact with, dated a few boys briefly, and made beautiful memories.

During the second year I enrolled to the only FREE beautician school in Paris (+300 enrolled, 18 were accepted) and graduated in summer 2008.

Just to make it clear, I worked at Disney during the weekend whilst at the same time studying from Mon-Fri at the school. No free days, no free time, 3h/day in the publics transports, too much to learn, too little pay.

So in 2008 in August I finally QUIT Disney (YESSSS) and decided to continue my studies with a Brevet Professionnel for 2 years. I moved to Paris to Montparnasse, where I had a room mate from hell who made my life hell. No one was able to do shit to help my situation with little miss Princess who's life long wish was to become Britney Spears, to marry a rich man so that she could just sit on her fat ass and do nothing to gain money. All she wanted was to party, drink and shop. She ended up in the psych ward. I hear she's still being treated.

So in order to be able to be accepted in the school I had to find a beauty salon to work in. I had the greatest luck to find Institut Pyrène.

(About luck; I have a TOO-lucky brother and a "normal" sister and I have to make my own luck since Lady Luck shaded her eyes when I was born).

I managed to tolerate studying for 2 more years and gratuated in July this year.

I have a CAP and a BP.

I now work full-time at Institut Pyrène and love it.

I enjoy everything I do there, but was I love most is permanent make-up. (Yes, I tattoo peoples' faces since May this year.)

In 2009, Lady Luck opened her eyes and via Facebook led me to meet the shade of my heart. When I met him, he was incredibly shy, tall, handsome and intelligent. The moment I saw him I knew. I knew I had found something, but it was only after a while that I realised that I had found my missing heart.

Today we live and love together.

That's about all there is to know about me. I talk a lot, I like my solitude, I am shy, cold, caring, I love him, I miss my friends, have been dieting for 1½ years (+1 year using the method Paleo, ~3 months using the Dukan diet), am a fan of tea, have discovered the horrible plaisir of internet shopping, regret not seeing my family more than once a year and hope this blog will help keep in touch.

I'll surely write tout et n'importe quoi, stress about my weight, rant about my customers, post pics and share my thoughts. Feel free to comment or just leave a post for whatever reason. Bare with me.