Long overdue

As the title says, this post is sooooo long overdue.

It's been, what, 3 months ?
I can't claim to have been THAT busy for 3 whole months that I haven't had time to write a few lines in this crummy blog of mine!

Last time I wrote a very short and confusing post about my mental state, my self-employment project and my boring life. This time I'll try to be a bit more clearer and elaborate in my writings...

So, my project has been launched !
I officially had my first REAL client last Saturday ! (meaning I don't know her thru someone and she found me thanks to a post I left in a forum that led her to my website (check it oooout).
Lash extensions à domicile (in HER home).
I was really badly installed for the extensions because she didn't have anything where she could actually lie down on (she did say she has a massaging chair that can go down into a horizontal position but it turned out you could just get in to lean a bit. I ruined my back, but she was nice and I gave her a discount).

I'm also going to work WITH a beauty salon not far from where we live, even tho I'm sure it'll not work out.
It's a big salon with like 10 rooms, but they are only 2 workers, which means it's not working.
And the boss lady wants to handle my appointments, which I do not appreciate. Oh well, we'll see if it works out of not.
Other than that, I have friends as clients, for lashes and permanent make-up.

In the mean time, I work 3 days a week in a beauty salon in Paris. Still as a freelancer, meaning I get paid maybe a wee bit more that I would had I a real contract.
It's really nice, very haut de gamme and the people I work with are suuuper nice.
The bosslady is nothing like my old one, mon dieu, there is no comparaison other than night and day !
So freaking nice.
I work with her daughter and 2 other girls, one of which will leave before this fall. I think I'm the oldest of the bunch :D
One girl only does permanent make-up and the others lash extensions. I do both, even if I haven't done much since I started there.
I have gone on business trips with BossLady to St Quentin to do permanent make-up for 2 days. So that's really cool ! I'm the only one who agrees to move around, the other dermograph not wanting to do it.
I really enjoy the business trips even tho the owner of the salon we go to is unbearable. She is everything I do not appreciate.
Loud, brusque, touchy, repeats everything 5 times, unorganized and heavily overweight. She had a vein pop in her head last fall, but from what I hear, she hasn't changed much since. She just repeats things MORE than before. Argh.

So at the salon, that is in the very chic area of Paris, in the 1st arrondissement and right next to Place Vendôme, is actually a private one and hidden from the client lambda. It's one the second floor and has a special entrance. You really need to know it's there to find it. You can't stumble upon it.
It's owned by this hair extension specialist, Mr K who works with the lovely colorist that kinda makes me think of Eva Mendez (with bigger, sulfurous eyes). We also have 2 nails specialists working with us.
So it's really fun because a client might come just for a brushing and decide to do lash extensions or nail stuff on a whim.

And nobody thinks it's weird I don't eat certain stuff. They just kinda feel sorry for me, but they UNDERSTAND, unlike my ex-colleagues that really hurt my feelings.
(In a nutshell :
We had decided on my going away party, and had found a restaurant that worked out for everyone, except that at the last minute the restaurant was changed, and I got to hear that the fact that I didn't eat certain stuff was stupid, complicated and frustrating and that if the restaurant they had booked didn't suit me, I'd just have to plan my going away party for another date.
I burned those bridges.)

Other than that, this year is filled with trips !
I've already done 3 of them. First one was in Suisse, visiting friends of Olivier, the second in Finlande, attending my grandma's funeral (yup...) and the third in Berlin, celebrating my brother's 30th birthday !!
He's moving to San Francisco btw, not cool :(
The next trip will be with my friend Lucie, to SRI LANKAAAAAA !!!
2 weeks just the 2 of us ! Nothing too sporty, we both just want to take it eeeeaaasyy and let loose.

The following trip is a combined one.
To Finland with Oliv in October for my cousin's wedding (complete with lash extensions and make-up) and from there to Stuttgart, Germany for the beer festival with Anja !!
After that I have no more trips..
Maybe for Christmas ? :D

And the Eminem concert is in LESS THAN A MONTH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!
Must lose weight fast to seduce him !! ;D

So that's pretty much it.
Today we did a huuuge clean-up, I emptied my drawers of all the clothes I no longer use and never will (Oliv did the same) and just rearranged stuff and cleaned. So nice now.
(And yes, it's 6a.m. and I'm writing my blog. Either I was too impressed with Les Misérables (the film) or that last glass of Coca Zero killed all my hopes for sleep tonight, but I just can't seem to doze off.)

I really do commend the film, it was amazing. I'm sure it was even more so on the big screen, we just bought the Bluray. It made me cry and WANT to cry so many times. Some amazing voices and performances (I wouldn't necessarily say Miss Hathaway deserved an oscar for her performance, she was on-screen for what, 20 minutes? but she was very good. Freddie Redmayne made me cry. Such power.)

Oh well.
Until next time people ! :)
Won't make any promises, that'll just end up in waiting...

Preparations, preparations...

So people, I'm again long overdue with my updates.
This has got to stop !
To apologize for it, here is a funny way of teaching others how various animals eat :

So what's new ?

I suffored an intense depression but am since then trying to reeaaaallly change how I act with Olivier. To see if what he said was really a good reason to get pissed off or if I'm just too prickly (since a loooong time).
He's getting help too from friends and family and other, so I know he's not supporting everything by himself.
It's a good thing.

My plans on becoming self employed are starting to see the light. I've been preparing the debut, buying the material, asking questions, comparing assurance contracts etc. It's quite hard work if you ask me.
Even if it's supposed to be really simplified.

I'm also working on my website, hoping to lure people into contacting me. I should make a Facebook page too.. GAH. Oh well. All in due time.

I actually realized that there is nothing going on in my life..

Oh wait, my 2 friends that had opened their beauty salon and wanted to let me work their "for almost free of charge" requested a 20% gain on everything I make and 50€ rent PER DAY. I said; thank you, no thank youuuuu...
So there you have it, I am currently searching for a place to work my magic. I've contacted different beauty salons and have been surprised by the fact that some people actually ARE interested.
2 months of inactivity have really started to gnaw at me. Time to wooooork!

Sri Lanka baby

I am currently sitting in Kuwait, waiting for my plane to leave in a few hours.
The month of February went by in a flash, it seems like I was updating my blog a few days ago.. Freaky..
It was a good month.
I got to relax, talk about my problems to my parents and not think of work AT ALL.
Well, I should actually since well...I need to decide what to do. I think I'm giving freelancing a try. I mean, what can I lose ? But more importantly, what can I learn from the experience?

So, Sri Lanka!
I arrived a day and a half earlier than my two companions so I go to take a breather and discover Hikkaduwa with my parents before setting off on our two week tour.
I have to say, their place is beautiful.
It's like paradise. The first time I saw it I was just at awe.
Flowers everywhere, a swimming pool, fruit hanging from trees, birds singing.. Whoa.
Officially they have one dog, Happy, and one cat, Onni.
Unofficially there are 3 more dogs.
They are all cute and nice,

Marja and Olivier came on the same day, just with 4hs difference.. No biggie, with Marja we talked and tried to stay awake during the wait, finally starting to converse with a curious American sitting at the table next to us in the café.

Once Olivier arrived, we hopped in the taxi that had brought me (and hence waited 5 hours to drive us back) and arrived at Hikkaduwa round 8ish. We took a nap and then started planning and discovering the beautiful country.

We had decided on hiring a van to take us places (huge time and hassle saver) and my stepdad had asked one of his local friends, Lal, to take us. He seemed nice at first but on a few occasions during the trip and after he reeeeaaally bugged me.
Mom can't stand him and I almost regret buying him a Rs 5000 book. Oh well, it's done so nothing to cry about.

Our plan took us from the South to finally stop at Colombo, where our parts with Lal and Marja would part and with Olivier we'd continue on alone.

We stayed in Hikkaduwa for a few days before departing early on Wednesday morning armed with Lonely Planet and Petit Futé.
We first went to Uda Walawe, a nature resort where we got a nice view of elephants and birds (to be honest, I had a hard time seeing any of the birds our guide pointed out to us but I pointed my camera in the direction indicated and got it over with).

We slept in a cosy and clean place called Superson's. The food was excellent and we slept well.
From there we continued to Ella and had a small crisis on the way. We told Lal about wanting to call and reserve a hotel, but he just laughed and told that everything would already be booked and that we should've thought about it earlier.I told him that as our guide HE should've told us to book before but he just laughed.
We were all pissed at him after that.
We then decided to take the train from Ella to Nanu Oya, where Lal would pick us up and take us to Hatton and then Adam's Peak.
There was a mishap with the tickets too and we were really tense. We even contemplated abandoning his services after Ella and continuing on our own from there.But alas, we have a conscience and couldn't "leave him stranded" after having planned on using his services up until Colombo.

So we swallowed our anger and later on realized we had overreacted a bit. He's still a douche tho.
In Ella we tried out the ayurvedic treatments used for shoulder and scalp massages.
It was boring, repetitive and unprofessional. I had hoped for more.

Whilst in Ella we went for an evening stroll, just the 3 of us, and climbed what they call "Little Adam's Peak". Nothing to do with the real one a frankly, they should call it "Adam's Peak's Microscopic Shadow" because the real one, WELL, that took us +3 hours to climb, 1h to wait for the sunrise and 2 hours to run down.
I was really happy that my damaged knee (thank you Mont Blanc) didn't sting at all. :)

Prior to Adam's Peak Lal insisted (well he just drove us there without asking us) on having us blessed for our hike. So we went, had a priest chant-mumble a few prayer lines, a red dot pressed on our foreheads and Rs 150 cashed out of us.
Well, we didn't hurt ourselves or die so it MUST have worked.
We did lose Marja on the way down and with Oliv we panicked only to find her safe and warm in our van. I was furious with anxiety :D

After Adam's Peak we left for Colombo. We all slept during the 5 hour trip since the night before there was only 2 hours of sleep in store for us.
In Colombo we were greeted by a huge rainstorm.
So huge that the hotel room we were supposed to get was flooded (but for them it posed no problem). I proceeded to rant and rave until he finally gave us a new room and Rs 1100 of reduction.

Marja left early the next day and we proceeded to the bus station with Oliv where we found a bus to take us to Dambulla (5h bus drive). From there we took a tuk-tuk to Sigiriya and checked into our rooms.

We were supposed to go climb Sigiriya Rock the following morning, but since our leg muscles were still stinging from the climb of Adam's Peak, we decided self-torture was the way to go. It was really beautiful, I took a ton of pictures but you'll never see the real beauty reflected in them. It's in my mind so that's enough.

The following day we went to have breakfast at the local diner we had discovered the previous evening. The owner liked to hand his customers a marker and let them leave their marks on his walls. I wrote something in Finnish and Olivier wrote his during breakfast. It was raining cats and dogs and we were really glad we had climbed the Rock the previous evening.
From there, our journey took us to Kandy, where we hopefully looked for anything rugby related. We had booked something beforehand, but changed our minds after a local sir came to ask us if we were looking for a place to stay. It was cheap and they served by far the best home-cooked curry I had tasted (if you don't take in account the buffet at the Lighthouse; the mutton curry is to die for).We even saw at the local sports stadium people playing rugby so we were really hopeful. We approached a athletics trainer who for the following 2 hours took us to every shop in Kandy selling sports goods, but in vain.
He afterwards told us that his former trainee was now the captain of the Kandy team and that he'd have 2 shirts for us the following morning at 8h30.
Except that he didn't.
He then promised that he'd get them in a few days and that he'd call.
He didn't, we did.
Two more days.
Still no.
In a few days.
Are you kidding me?
Soon, soon.
Ok, bye.

So that was a disappointment.
Luckily a week after Olivier had left, I searched far and wide to find e-mail addresses of rugby teams and unions.
I struck gold ! But about that, a bit later.

So back to our trip. Kandy seen and done, we headed to Colombo. Our plan was to stay one night and go back to Hikkaduwa the following afternoon.
We changed our minds and went straight back to Hikkaduwa, passing by Colombo.
There we just lazed around and burned our skins in the swimming pool.

on a side note, I tan ugly. Uneven and ugly colored. Bleh. Every time I tan I tell myself the same thing, it's ugly, stay pale like a ghost ! But alas, 5 mins of applying sunscreen is too much to ask. So I burn.
Intelligent.

After Olivier left, I spent my days with my parents, often running errands with my step-dad, sitting on the back of his scooter and drinking in the scenery (and fearing for my life everytime I saw 3 buses vaulting towards us on a 2 lane road, trying to compete on who gets to the bus stop first). It really did me good.
I spoke to him about my mental issues and the psychiatrice and my work etc. It felt good to be understood.

I actually told mom about everything.
We spoke of the abuse I had suffered in school (I never really told them about it, or how bad it actually was or how I coped with it) and the self-esteem issues I still had because of it.
We also spoke of my my parents' divorce and the life they had before. Mom suffered quite a bit of mental abuse from dad, I'm really sorry I couldn't help her. But I was but a small child and I was pretty much left in the dark about the whole situation. I felt abandoned. I ever revealed that I felt that with mom we hadn't really been very close when I was growing up, that we only started hugging when I moved out of the house.She was going through a lot which of course reflected on her everyday life.
I told her that I blamed no one about my problems and in no way was I trying to make her feel guilty of anything.
It just felt good to let her know. I even told her about the times I had contemplated suicide, the last one not so long ago because of my growing anxiety and distress about work.

I hope I didn't scare her. She told me that if I ever thought like that again I should immediately ask for help. Hence the psychiatrice.
I told her I was doing better, really I am. That I hope a lot of stress will disappear from our couple and I can start loving fully again.

It was a really good talk, it made both of us laugh a few times :D

I just realized I'm writing in shambles !  The chronological order has not been respected! And I'm no longer in Kuwait, I'm on the plane now.
I might as well tell you about the time I struck gold with the rugby shirt !

So I had contacted a bunch of people, found well hidden pictures of Sri lankan rugby players in their jerseys and used all my pleading power to make someone pity me enough to answer me.
A certain Lasitha G. answered my prayers.
This fine sir is the Vice President of the Asian Rugby Federation Union.
He gave me his number which I called on Tuesday, preciding Poya (full moon, holiday).

I called him a few times before he finally managed to found a jersey for me.
The thing was, I'd have to go to Colombo to collect it (about 3hs one way). I told my parents about my plans to go collect them, but Timo decided we should all go. Mom wasn't thrilled, it meant a lot of sitting in the car we hired with the driver. But she acquiesced at the end.
I couldn't sleep that night.
I was so worried of making my parents do something weary for nothing AND that I'd be disappointed again.
So we set out early and met this lovely man near his work place. He works not far from Royal College so it was kinda easy to find.
He didn't want anything for the jersey, since it wasn't one that they sold (that actually led to some confusion on the phone;
-You have a jersey ?? "Yes" -Oh yay, how much?? "Oh it's not for sale." - Oh, so no jersey... "No no, I will give it to you!" -Really!? How much do I owe you ?? "Oh I can't sell it!" - Oh... but... "I don't need anything in exchange." - Oh but I must repay you somehow ! What can I get you? "Oh no no no *laughs*"
You get the drift.)

Timo gave me a bottle of whisky to give him. So he and us arrived at their club house by car and the others stayed in the vehicle while I ran to meet him. In the end we talked so much that after the second time he asked whether we'd want coffee I had the courage to ask my parents if they could be bothered to spend some time with him.
They were delighted.
He was really a nice man, he invited us for tea in their club house and we all talked. About rugby, Sri Lanka, my parents, Olivier etc.
At the end when I looked at the shirt (he proposed to exchange it for a smaller size if it was too big) he told me to keep in touch, "please".
We were all so impressed by him, we really had a nice time and the jersey is great !
It's a super limited edition, only 35 were made by the brand Gilbert and NOBODY has one (well apart him and some other member of the union). The jerseys were supposed to be distributed to players, but he decided against it. Muahahahahahaaa !
Once I get back home I'll need to send him a picture with Olivier wearing the shirt :D
I bet he'll like that. I do !

So to sum it up, the month I spent in Sri Lanka was really important. I felt free and without a care in the world, I smiled all the time, I ate good spicy foods (and gained 2 dress sizes, my fingers are so swollen I can't even put my engagement ring on) and bonded more with my parents.
I also achieved a minor victory.
I had learned that the nutritionnist that I was supposed to see on Monday had cancelled my rdvs. I learned 3 weeks after.

So when I called the earliest dates were starting from mid-April.
I had put some much hope in that initial rdv that it just broke me and I started crying. Like I always do when I hit a bad spot, I isolate myself.
Timo had asked if I wanted to go to Galle with him but I refused.
My parents didn't understand because up until that moment I had always been ready to hop on the scooter.

I started to wallow in self-pity (for a silly thing like that) but something fought it.
I looked at Timo preparing to leave and thought of really wanting to go. I mustered up all my courage and asked if I could still come.
It did me a whole lot of good.
We spoke of my depression and the wonderful feeling of self-pity and really, I calmed down instantly, all my troubles blown away by the polluted wind that hit my face on Galle Road.
I called the nutritionnist back and took the first rdv he had to offer.
As simple as that.

So, in short;
Good times.

The end

I'm still alive !!

I even scared myself there, seen how long it's been since I last updated my blog.

I really haven't had the time OR the right state of mind to sit down and write. Seen that I'm sitting in a plane and will do so for the following 13 hours, you might say I'm short on excuses to postpone this. So, a lot of things have happened and I have a lot of writing to do. Let's get to it.

So November I returned to work. All went well at first, I had to tell the story about my 2 month leave like a hundred times, I had some catching up to do with colleagues and so on and so forth. It was grand.

Then my boss decided that I should start learning electrolysis, the hair removal treatment I didn't want to learn (I'm sure I wrote about it, last July).

Quick memory refresh on why I don't want to do it :

Girls who have been trained in it seldom do anything else. They complain about pains in their back, arms, eyes, head etc. They have to bend in non-ergonomic positions to be able to work on the wanted zones. They work with a bright light and a magnifying glass to see the hairs clearly which is stressful for the eyes. It is also illegal practice of medecin. So no, thank you.

After a short debate, I told my boss I'd rather leave than learn to do it. She showed me the way to the door. I took it.

I told her the only solution to our disagreement was that I were to leave since neither of us would ever change their minds. The agreement was that I'd leave once I'd found something else so that I wouldn't be with nothing.

After that, she started to get petty and nasty.

At first, I remarked that I no longer had clients. I was the "last resort" for the appointments. My boss who claimed to want to work less and concentrate more on paper stuff started coming to work more often. She did all the permanent make-up clients, even ones that WANTED TO DO IT WITH ME. I shit you not.

I witnessed a few times my superior fixing an appointment with a client that normally asks to be with me, and putting it on the planning of my boss.

At first I thought I was crazy until I called one of my usual permanent make-up clients to ask her to confirm her appointment (we call them usually two days before to be sure that we don't reserve time unnecessarily for someone who will not show up).

I asked her if she had not been satisfied with my work and quite confused, she answered that no, that's not it, she just simply wasn't given a choice. So I offered to place her on my planning and she willingly accepted.

Another client was surprised to see me since she was told I didn't work anymore.

I then understood that it was done on purpose.

Since my planning was quite empty, I was let know that I was paid for doing nothing, that I was simply useless and good for nothing, and that I should seriously consider quitting - since that's what I wanted to do.

I confronted my boss about all that, she tried to deny it, saying I was making things up, but I pressed on, presented my proof and showed her a side of me she hadn't seen before.She then admitted that it was normal to not put clients on a person who was soon quitting. Even if I could've boosted the monthly income.

God is she stupid.

So we were having our version of the Cold War, when I get a message from my plane company telling me that my flight had been cancelled and no longer existed.

(Just on a side note, we were served food just now and a lady with a tray holding glasses of water did rounds on asking if anyone wanted water. She stops to ask the people sitting in front of me, then the people on the other side, takes two steps forward, and I say hello with a smile.

She stays sideways to me with her tray in her right hand, just turns her head and throws me this look of contempt that made me shrink before stepping forward and asking the people behind me if they wanted water.

I think I looked pretty shocked because the steward going in the opposite direction paused next to me, looked at me looking towards where the lady had gone, looked at the lady and then back to me before asking if I had wanted water.

I managed a woeful whisper of a "yes, please" that sent him calling for a glass of water. He was nice. I still don't know what I did wrong...)

So, after calling the air company who blamed it on the agency who blamed it on the flying company, I had the choice to cancel my flight and be reimbursed (meaning I had to find a cheap ticket a month before the departure. Yeah, go fish) or changing the flight date. My initial flight was on February 3rd, just like Olivier's and I was given the choice between the 8th or the 1st. GREAT.

So after planning and reorganizing, I decided on the 1st.

So that settled, I had to ask for 2 extra days of vacation. Haha. Oh boy.

I explained my situation to my boss, telling her I'd lose money and time and my sanity if I had to get my ticket reimbursed and that I was not doing all this on purpose.

She looks at our monthly planning and tells me that it was impossible since we had to be the correct number of people on those two days or risk losing money.

I then asked if it were possible were I to EXCHANGE the days with someone so that we were the correct number of people. She agreed saying that I wouldn't be able to find anyone to replace me on those days aka sure, dream on.

I found two people, gave them my days off in exchange and was content.

Except that my boss didn't want to allow the exchange. There's a name for people like that; it starts with a "b" and ends with a "yatch".

We then spoke of finally coming to an agreement.

I told her I'd be willing to raise the white flag if she would add to my contract a rule that would prevent her to use more than 30% of my time for electrolysis. At first she was scandalized then she accepted, saying that she'd have to consult her lawyer on it. She'd get back to me. I had to ask what would happen if the 30% were exceeded. She looked at me smiling and said that then she'd know that I would want to quit.

So it starts with a "b"...

At least I got her to accept the exchange.

Because the situation at work was killing me (no seriously, I was really at my limit, I even thought of suicide one dark day) and I was tired, so tired, emotionally and mentally that I decided I needed to go see someone.

I went to see my doctor who told me that I could choose anyone in our community, they were all good. So I did some research on the internet and found a lady not far from our place. She's very nice.

I was afraid that at first I'd have trouble talking, but the words just came out. Everything came out. More WILL come out. The 1 hour sessions are not long enough.

I often feel lighter after our hour together and she just knows her job.

Last time I was really excited about something and told her how happy I was blah blah and she just looks at me, concerned and says : I can't believe how stressed you are. How are you managing to hold up ?!

I just stay for a while before the tears just started to flow.

Aaaaand I just derailed to the subject of how I hate myself blahblahblahblah.

Yeah.

It's great.

So I've had some help on making my CV and getting an interview with a very prestigious SPA.

The wife of Olivier's boss works in a beauty school. She is in charge of the formations and finding jobs for the students.

She offered to help me on her own (I guess Oliv speaks of my work problems with his boss who then tells his wife). She redid my CV completely, gave me tips and found me an interview with the Guerlain Spa in the Waldorf Astoria in Versailles.

(a very fancy place, didn't feel comfortable at all when I went to do my interview)

The other interview I found on my own, it's our top competitor based on permanent make-up. The funny part is that the bosses share the same first name xD

So, I sent her my CV complete with a brief presentation in pictures of what I do and how I do it.

She contacted me a few days later and I called to fix the date for the interview the first occasion that presented itself to me.

Now she doesn't make contracts with any of her workers, she only hires freelancers.

That means that if I'd like to work for her, I'd have to start up my one-woman business.

The nice thing about that is that I have more freedom with my freedays and I can work for other people too.

I'd also have at least a few sure days spent working at the reception, answering calls and e-mails, fixing appointments, organizing stuff etc.

On other days I'd work only if there's demand and I'd be paid a % on the treatment fees.So it can be very interesting depending on the work load I'd have.

Now the down side is the cost.

I have to pay for an assurance, make a contract with a cleaning service and pay taxes.

I will also lose the right to lunch tickets, paid vacation and transport reductions.

I will also have to buy and use my own material which is quite costly.

So I would have to calculate to see how most it would cost me to start my business and estimate the time it takes to pay back all the material.

It is also worth it only if I gain from 2 to 3 thousand a month. Ho boy.

So to be remedied.

How my interview went :

She seems pretty decent, strict but decent and quite honest.

When we were getting seated she asked me if my boss had the same name a her and if she even knew how to tattoo.

She's been doing it for almost 20 years now, so yes.

Apparently she's had quite a few people come from our place with badly done eyebrows. But apparently the clients always precised that it had been done with the boss.

What to respond to that ?

Yes, my boss knows how to tattoo but yes, sometimes it's not that great.

Then we talked a bit about my workplace. She was surprised to hear that we were 13 and even more so when she heard I was one of the two lone tattooers at our place.

"But does your boss know you are leaving?" Oh yes. "And she didn't try to stop you?" Well, not really, she understands that I [insert elaborate excuse about wanting to evolve in a different direction]. "She'd rather let you go than give you a raise or some other compensation?" ..it's the economical crisis you see.. "...*stare* So what the real reason? You didn't get along or what?" No, no, nothing of the sort. We just didn't share the same vision on things. "uh-huh." MY, what a lovely place you have here !

She is no fool.

She seemed quite excited when I showed her a presentation I had done on lash extensions. She started saying that she could really see how organized (not) I was and how she could definitely see my as a lash extension teacher. I was like, pardon?

She wants to start teaching lash extensions in her place, she's already set up a training program for permanent make-up and she wants to complete that with lash extensions. Sure, why not.

She just plans ahead, like waaaaay ahead. She was like, yeah, start planning the program so that in March we can start offering the training. Uh.... that's fast.. I am going away for a month so I won't be able to do anything before and during that time..

Oh no worries she says, just send me all the info you have and she'll do it during February. Um, not that I don't trust you, but I'd be giving a lot of information for... ?

Oh no worries, she'll hire me.

Right.

I sent her an e-mail with questions and called her but she never answered. She is busy, ok....

So the situation is :

In a plane with a stewardess that doesn't like me, sitting next to a obnoxious man who doesn't stop sighing (a kingdom for a fresh mint), pushed to the edge, seeing a shrink and unemployed (oh yeah, I did quit) with no new job in sight.

Things are REALLY looking good.

What keeps me alive and kicking ?

EMINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM !!!!!!!!!

I have FRONT floor tickets to go see Eminem in August !!!! I was soooooooo excited!

I got my brother to get them for me ! Yay for Bro !!

I'm soooooo excited to get to see him. I'll be the insane fangirl screaming and fainting, disturbing everyone and getting crushed against the safety fence.

Oh joooooy.

So that's about it.

In Sri Lanka we'll hopefully get to do lots of different things, see beautiful places and taste wonderful foods. Yumyum. A good friend of mine is coming as well, she's spending one week with us before returning to Thailand and from there to Finland.

It's going to be so cooool ... !

Well not really, smoldering hot and painstakingly humid.

Sun, my old Nemesis... [song of Valkyrie] Try me.

Boredom

I've been trying to occupy my days with knitting, japanese self-studying, drawing, etc...
It's been hard.

The main reasons for trying to desperately occupy myself are to prevent
a) boredom
b) eating
c) depression
Now in my case, a) is the most important reason. Why ? Because in my case, a) leads to b), which leads to c) and back to b). Some times even a)->c)->b)->c). So in any case, a) is my enemy.

I'm in the process of knitting arm warmers. No, not short hand warmers, long arm warmers.
After 4 different tries with different styles, effects and colors, I settled with black and bright violet yarn and am just doing a simple wire effect.
I finished the first one, I just need to start the second.
Olivier asked me to make him socks which surprised me because he's always refused my offerings to knit him something. Hmm..
A friend of mine told me I could knit her socks, I'm hoping to go yarn shopping once I get the green light for leaving the apartment when I want to.
Having to stay at home is such a bore..........

Now I've been wanting to learn Japanese for quite some time now.
I'm a fairly active reader of manga and what I've learned about the Japanese culture and language via manga, anime and googling, has made an impact on me.
I have the Rosetta Stone program, I have a book for learning (got that one in Finland like 6 years ago) but nothing has motivated me to start it.
Expect now.
I want to go to Japan.
I neeeed to go to Japan to experience it for myself.
And I've started an advanced Japanese language course here in my little town and I'm waaaaay behind everyone, so I really need to study by myself.
I've always been able to learn languages fairly easily, I guess that's one good thing going for me.

Drawing.
Who am I kidding, I haven't drawn ANYTHING.
I should draw but I have nothing to draw. Draw draw draw...
I did draw patterns for my yarn art, does that count ?

Oh. And to help me skip a) to get directly to c), I do not have permission to go to Finland during my sick leave.
I've been trying to conjure up a plan since 1½ weeks to go there anyway but there's my conscience and the fear of home call check ups to ruin everything.. oh well... This is me buying stuff on the net to compensate the void it has created.. eheh..
I've been a biiiiig iHerb buyer.
So many things I want to buy !

I bought Astaxanthin and probiotics a month ago, have been using them since.
The former one is supposed to be a powerful anti-oxydant, but what really interests me are the studies showing that when using it, your skin is highly protected against UV-rays and does not BURN !
I mean, I'm not a sun worshiper, that's for sure, but since I AM going to Sri Lanka for one month in February, I need all the help I can get ! Forgetting the use of sunscreen that is.
Sun BLOCK is a better word for it, because it blocks the produce of Vitamin D - which for me is the only reason to expose your skin to the sun.
15 mins is enough people ! No need to crisp up your skin !
Gah.

Oh and I just ordered Vitamin D's too. One bottle I'll be giving to my mom, I hope she'll take 'em.
Can't do you harm. Or me, especially. I avoid the sun and tend to be dead weight now that winter is coming.
There're actually been extensive studies to support the claim that Vitamin D is VERY important for us and that we really aren't producing it sufficiently around the year. Let's crank up the volume then shall we?
It will hopefully boost up my energy and help me avoid getting sick !

***

Sooo.... Olivier and I finally got pacsed. :)
Yesterday, 11 a.m. No need to run after papers anymore.
It's done. Over. AH. No one bugging us about it anymore. Peace !
...now everyone just wants to know when we are getting married.
AAAARGH.

And I know that I already mentioned my ring more than 6 months ago, and that normally there IS NO ring for the PACS, I will still use it proudly ! :)

Here's a picture of it :

Me and my butterfingers :)

Broken bones and DVDs

I came back home yesterday.
Even if at the clinic all I did was sleep between swallowing pills and eating pretty decent hospital food, it's really nice to be home.
Olivier's been really sweet, he went shopping for groceries for me yesterday, he made my bed on the sofa and prepared my breakfast. And he's vacuum cleaning as we speak. So why is he doing everything for ME?
Because I can't really move much, he won't be here for 10 days and I need food to survive. And a clean house is pretty great, especially when you're forced to stay indoors all the time.
I did clean the house last Sunday before leaving for the clinic. So Olivier only had a few things to take care of.
I wish that next week I'll be able to do something else than just lie down and get up just to go to the toilet or get me something to eat.
I might consider taking a shower from time to time.

I mean, I will need the help of a home nurse 2 times /week....
But just to change the bandages. Otherwise I can manage.

The stay at the clinic was pretty pleasant.
Sunday evening before going to sleep pretty early in the room for 2 people where only I slept for the whole duration of my stay, I had to take an antiseptic shower using the "shower gel" they gave me.
A nurse came to wake me up (even if I hadn't really managed to sleep well during the night) at 5:30 so that I could take another antiseptic shower just before the operation.
2 hours later I was wheeled into a waiting room with other patients and given the anesthetic to put my right leg to sleep.

I guess that by the time they wheeled my into the operating room I was so tired that I just barely managed to stay awake. I just remember lying there, listening to them talking and explaining what they were doing, with a small smile on my lips.
When he started using his electric saw("it slices, it dices, it makes French fries and three different..!" - ahem), the sound it made was pretty impressive. I did feel the impact of it on my foot, but not the pain.
I think it must've lasted for like 1½hrs, before they wheeled me back out to the same waiting room and plugged me into this machine that calculated my oxygen level, my blood tension and my pulse.
If ever any of those 3 went below the average, the machine started to beep.
It kept beeping all the time.
A heart rate below 45 is considered as below average and mine beats at ~43 /per minute.
So they had to reprogram the machine to lower the "danger" level but even still it beeped from time to time.
3 different nurses came to see what the beeping was all about and every single one asked me the same question : "You must be pretty sportive huh ?"
-Um, not especially, no...
"Well you have the heart for it"
- k.. *snore*

There was a quick x-raying before being wheeled back to my room.
They forbade me to move from my bed for the remaining of the day. I avoided drinking too much water, but still, a chamber pot was needed........... so embarrassing...

During my stay after that I just slept, played with my HTC and read books. And slept some more.
I never really suffered. I felt that my leg started to wake up, the muscles trembled and hundreds of nails kept pricking my skin. But no pain.

I saw the beauty of my leg Tuesday morning when a nurse came to change the bandage.
I have to admit that I was pretty surprised by the size of the opening. One image came to mind :

It'll make one mighty scar.

I got to see the X-rays yesterday. The had sawed 2 of my bones and fixed them back into place with nails.
I wonder if I'll beep when passing through airport security.

So, that done,
I have 2 months before me.
2 months of REST.
I hope I won't get too bored.

A client of mine sent me a box full of DVDs !
I mean... that's just so sweet.... she doesn't want me to fall into boredom so she sent me multiple seasons of different series and a few films. I was really touched.
I mean, she had asked me for my address, but.. I never imagined that she'd really do it.
I mean, she could forget.
...but she didn't...
I wonder how to repay her.. hmhmhmh..

Oh and I decided to invite the girls over for a visit !
And I already know what to offer them :
A cupcake fondue ! :D
Imagine this, mini plain or choco muffins, melted choco, melted white choco, liquid caramel, different sprinkles, slices of fruit, berries..
It'll be great ! :D

Muahahahahahahaaa !

Oh and I bought my tickets to go to Sri Lanka !! :D
ça y est, it's official! I'm hyped ! :)

I put a photo of my foot in my section "Photos".
If you want to see it, be my guest.
Any damage done to your PC following you throwing up on it is not of my fault.
Cheers.

7 days to go.

Well days I still need to work before my operation, I mean.
I really can't wait. :D
I need to be in pain !! Right NOW!!
(just kidding, I'm not a big fan of pain)

Work is pretty calm now, our clients have left to go on holiday, so our plannings aren't as filled as they could be. It means that time goes by preeeetty slowly....
I try to avoid my boss, it's easier like that. Even though I would need to ask her about my vacation and my futur day offs. But I feel like I should just... let time pass.
The plane tickets will just get more expensive.....

Darn.

So this weekend, very exceptionally, I have my Saturday off.
Youpiiii! It means we get to have a REAL weekend with Oliv. And to celebrate that fact, we are going somewhere close to Compiègne, where we can go biking and tree climbing. :D He booked the room for us so no, I don't know exactly where we are going.
It'll be nice.
Because the following weekend, starting from Friday evening, he'll be with his friends, drinking beer at Lille. And once he comes back on Sunday, I'll already be in the clinic for my next day's operation. Snif!
I bought an external battery for my phone for that btw. I need to be able to play games (old point-and-click ones!) or play sudoku or something with my phone without having to charge it constantly.
I'll take a book too, because apparently I'll be staying there for like 3 days............
Mother have mercy.
And when I finally get to go home, Olivier leaves Thursday to play rugby and he only comes back on Sunday.
And Sunday I'm supposed to subscribe to weekly activities proposed by the town I live in, and I'll be aloooone.....So I'll need to hop to get there. Sucks.
And when Olivier finally comes back in the evening, the following morning he has to leave for one week somewhere in France because of his job.
We are pretty gutted.
.
..
...
..
.
So next week, Wednesday we are going to go eat with friends. Friday I have an appointment with an allergologist to find out what foods I no longer tolerate (seriously, I'm sick of this rash and the stomach aches), a nutritionist (yup, I gotta learn how to eat properly) and I should make an appointment with my doctor to get a health certificate so that I could subscribe to the sportsy activities..

And then. Saturday. Last day.
It'll be so good.............. :D I'll try to see if some girls would like to go have a drink with me to celebrate.

And for the PACS, we are waiting for the final paper that I ordered like 3 weeks ago.
Here's to hoping.